Episode 44: How to Lose Weight

John and Emily are going on a health and fitness frenzy, but not before we talk about some truly tragic news. Blake Shelton, whoever that is, has been selected as 2017's Sexiest Man Alive and Emily and John...have a lot of feelings about it. So hang in there for their ideas on the rightful Sexiest Man Alive, as well as the Downtime campaign for Sexiest Listener Alive! We are now accepting submissions, so be sure to shoot us an email this week to be considered. Also, be prepared for some seriously misguided nutritional information about Oreo, McDonalds, Chipotle, and any other company we defamed in the making of this episode. 

Our musical guest this week is Cherophobiac wth her song, Prayer Hands! For more from Cherophobiac, please go to cherophobiac.com! 

Intro/Outtro by Ethan Gustavson, to hear more from Ethan please go to ethangustavson.com. 

Episode 43: How to Make a Smoothie

Ok, so John and Emily cover a LOT of ground in this one. 

They're talking the availability of ice in ancient civilizations, Emily's failure as a US Ambassador, famous performance art protests, and exactly how to get the perfect smoothie consistency without using bananas. 

Music this week was "My Boo (rmx)" by Bobby Woody. For more from Bobby, please go to https://soundcloud.com/bobbywoody. 

Thanks as always to Ethan Gustavson for our theme, to hear more from Ethan please go to ethangustavson.com. 

Episode 42: How to Be British

Ever wonder what the hell is wrong with our English cousins? Always apologizing, eating copious amounts of meat and pastry products, their bizarre slang and, of course, their love affair with tea. 

Guest host Lavinia Jury educates us Americans about British culture and graces our ears with her lovely London accent. You've got to admit, she does sound fancy. 

Special thanks to musical guest Jessica Byrd with her song, Light Up the Night! To hear more from the fabulous Jessica, go to jessicabyrd.com! 

Intro/Outtro theme by Ethan Gustavson. To hear more from Ethan, please go to ethangustavson.com

Episode 41: How to Trick or Treat

John and Emily are returning to their Halloween theme this week with How to Trick or Treat! They're talkin' candy routes, sustainable pranking, and where all the kids in NYC go trick-or-treating. John also reveals why he doesn't answer Emily's phone calls, and Emily scares us all with her Global Warming cautionary tales. 

Ricci Swift is our musical guest this week with his song, Cradling the Night! Find Ricci's album 'Silhouette' on Spotify!

Emily also mentioned her upcoming trip to Guatemala to work on Cloud Forest Research. Find out more about her trip, please go to https://donorbox.org/agro-ecosystems-for-people-and-wildlife-support-emily-downey-research-at-ccfc . Every donation is tax-deductible and greatly appreciated! 

Intro/Outtro by Ethan Gustavson. To hear more from Ethan, please go to ethangustavson.com

Episode 40: How to Submissions 2 (Powered by Fans, Too)

John and Emily are mixing it up again! 

Have fun listening to our How to Submissions sequel, where we're tackling those how-to's we've been saving for a rainy day! So how do you have a baby, eat burritos, and handle the struggle that is day-to-day life? Listen and find out!

Our musical guest this week is Grin and Bear It by Ava Rae Heatley! Thank you SO much Ava for yet another fantastic submission! More from her at avaraeheatley.bandcamp.com. Remember, Downtime is always taking submissions for musical guests at downtimesubs@gmail.com! 

Intro/Outtro by Ethan Gustavson, more from Ethan at ethangustavson.com

Episode 39: How to Choose a Halloween Costume

The Downeys are back and better than ever! 

This week, Emily and John are gettin' you prepared to get spooky for Halloween. Emily tells us about her Argentinian lifestyle and the cutthroat world of English Teaching, John gets stuck on punny Halloween costume rhetoric, and it becomes clear that these two have a lot of catching up to do!

Very special thanks to musical guest Evangeline Joy with her song, Shades! More from Evangeline at evangelinejoymusic.com or follow her on insta @evangelinejoymusic ! Intro/Outtro music by Ethan Gustavson, more from Ethan at ethangustavson.com

Episode 38: How to Boys (Emily Asks)

This week our usually gloriously femme-tastic Downtime is taken over by BOYS. Emily is still in Argentina, and John and his crew answer all of those burning questions Emily has about the opposite sex. Get ready for things to get...surprisingly dark? Maybe being a dude isn't so great after all...these boys are talkin' cars, video games, pee bubbles, and feelings! SUPER special thanks to guest hosts Ethan Gustavson (sound familiar??) and Joe Leib!!! Music this episode is provided by the fabulously talented Mason McDowell for his song Mail Myself to Mars!  More by Mason at masonmcdowell.bandcamp.com. 

Intro/Outtro music by Ethan Gustavson (ethangustavson.com)

Episode 37: How to Submissions (Powered By Fans)

We're going rapid fire this week! We took a bunch of your suggestions that we absolutely loved but weren't sure we could squeeze a whole episode out of, and we jam packed them into one episode! We talk about Horrifying Pools of Clown, Janitorial Vigilantism, and Tracking down Hugh Jackman, the little rascal that he is.

Thanks so much to MAUDE GUN for their song CLAUDIA, THE WORD! Please head to gloryofmaude.com to find out all about the amazingness that is MAUDE GUN.

Intro/Outtro music by Ethan Gustavson (ethangustavson.com)

Episode 36: How to Deal with Catcallers (A DOWNTIME TAKEOVER)

IT'S A DOWNTIME TAKEOVER! This week, it's Girltime with Emily and special guest host Jaimie Malphrus! John's not here and we're talking female janx! We've got your How to episode on How to Deal with Catcallers. Emily and Jaimie talk Dick Deliveries, the easy way to kickstart a career as a Cam-Girl, and the Misadventures of MyMo the Monkey.

Endless thanks to Gabrielle Marlena for her song Rescue You! Head to gabriellemarlena.com to find more amazing music from Gabrielle!

Intro/Outtro music by Ethan Gustavson (ethangustavson.com)

Episode 35: How to Order a Pizza

Let's Order a Pizza!

Everyone needs to know how to order a pizza CORRECTLY. Everyone also needs to know the intricacies of Online Pizza creators, when it's okay to expose yourself, and where in the world is Emily Downey?

Many thanks to Jessie Litwin for her song Safe and Secret! Go to jessielitwinmusic.com to find more from Jessie!

Intro/Outtro Music by Ethan Gustavson (ethangustavson.com)

Episode 34: How to Feel Better

Podcasting is all about accepting and working around Murphy's law. We're sorry its late, but getting this episode out was a WHOLE THING.

We hope you weren't in too much of a funk this week, but we're here now to help lift you up and send you off into your new happier life.

Thanks again to Vintage Talk for their song Space! Visit facebook.com/vintage talk to find more great stuff from Vintage Talk!

Intro/Outtro music by Ethan Gustavson(ethangustavson.com)

Episode 33: How to Ride a Bike

Have you been waiting years to learn how to ride a bike just so someone would take the time to teach you through a purely audio medium? Boy, do we have a show for you!

In this one, we talk about the rise of slack-lining, we get a glimpse into childhood as a Downey straight from the source, and John shares details about his new avian lifestyle.

Thanks so much to Sipper for their song Adam Driver! head to youtube.com/watch?v=N3MalJX4Ll4 and check out the awesome Adam Driver music video!

Intro/Outtro music by Ethan Gustavson                                                            (ethangustavson.com)

Episode 32: How to Enjoy the Eclipse

Sorry for getting this one out a little late! This episode goes well with a Nightcap!

In this one, John and Emily talk about Opportune Crime, Giant Ant Monsters, and they give some actually helpful information about the eclipse, against all odds.

Thanks so much to David Eaton for his song, I Just Wanna Die. Head to davideaton.weebly.com for more great stuff from David!

Intro/Outrro music by Ethan Gustavson (ethangustavson.com)

Episode 31: How to Be Cool for School

IT'S BACK TO SCHOOL TIME! We've got all our sweet new accessories: Backpacks, Gel Pens, Binder Covers, a sense of crippling inadequacy born purely of the curse of adolescence, and a brand new episode of Downtime with John and Emily! In this one, the Downeys teach you how to get in with the "In-Crowd". They talk about their old high school, Emily's crushes through the years, and the greatest  of In The Hall of the Mountain King never to be performed!

A thousands thanks to Elliot Taylor for his song Holy or the Broken! Check out elliottaylormusic.com to find more work form Elliot!

Intro/Outtro music by Ethan Gustavson                                                               ethangustavson.com

Episode 30: How to Plan a Wedding

Ready to get hitched? Put on your Sunday best, take your loved ones hands, and let John and Emily officiate the wedding of your dreams! It's about time these bozos found something useful to do...

Thanks to Hugh Macdonald for his song As a Man! Head on over to facebook.com/hughsmusic for to find lots mo

Intro/Outtro Music by Ethan Gustavson .          (ethangustavson.com)

Episode 29: How to Beat the Heat

It's so hot, you guys. And we've got the perfect way to cool off! With a nice tall glass of Downtime with John and Emily! Take a load off and prepare to unsubscribe from this channel for good because the Downeys get way too personal and a little too gross this time. (Please don't actually unsubscribe, we need this.)

Thanks to Abrielle Scharff for her song Picasso Blue! Head over to abriellescharff.bandcamp.com to hear more great tunes from Abrielle.

Intro/Outtro music by Ethan Gustavson (ethangustavson.com)

Episode 28: How to Build Your Dream Home

This week Emily and John are exhibiting their love for all things home related by telling you how to build a dream home! Ok, so it's John and Emily's dream home, but we think you'll still enjoy it!

We talk Mike Meyers, our favorite HGTV program Fixer Upper, and giant transformer-like housebots. World's gotta end somehow. 

Special thanks to Alice Limoges with her song, 'Your Skin on My Sheets,' if you would like to hear more from her, you can download her album at https://alicelimoges.bandcamp.com/. Thanks as always to Ethan Gustavson for our theme music, if you would like to hear more from Ethan, you can visit his website ethangustavson.com

Have a great weekend, everybody!

Episode 27: How to Go to Prison

Disclaimer: This is a jokey-joke podcast. The Downeys are idiots and they say stupid stuff to make each other laugh. They're also very white and very privileged. That being said, we hope you enjoy Littering PSAs, actual sibling arguments about eating cereal loudly, and Prison Break-Ins.

Thanks to Drummond for his song Getting Comfortable! Check out drummond.bandcamp.com for more awesome jams from him!

Intro and Outtro by Ethan Gustavson ethangustavson.com

Episode 26: How to Be a Better Person

Sorry for another late release, I literally forgot that yesterday was Thursday! We're doin' great!

Listen as the Downeys fruitlessly try to teach themselves to become better people and better podcasters. Listen for our URL to start your free trial to Audible today!

Thanks to Exits for our musical Interlude! If you enjoyed their song Ruin Me, you can find more from Exits including t-shirts at exitsmusic.com!

Intro and Outtro by Ethan Gustavson ethangustavson.com

Episode 25: How to Pick a (2017) Summer Blockbuster

John's back from Europe! And he's being a real jag about it. But, that means we've gotta get all caught up with the films of the season! Listen in as The Downey's swoon over Gal Gadot, lament Pixar's latest mistake, and argue about cinema terminology that they have no business arguing over. Listen in for the URL to start your free 30 Day trial to Audible!

Thanks as always to Ethan Gustavson for our Intro and Outtro Theme! More from Ethan at ethangustavson.com

Special thanks to Darryl Rahn for letting us air his brand spanking new single, Runnin Back, which he just released TODAY! Check out the music video to Runnin Back and much more from Darryl at Facebook.com/darrylrahnmusic